Selfies. The urban dictionary term for taking a picture of yourself at arm’s length, usually with the intent to post on a social media site. We’ve entered a new era of self-love, and we’ve gotten really good at it. We’re looking in the lens of the camera, and we’re liking what we see. We want others to like what we see and as long as they do we feel validated. Need to lose a few extra pounds? It’s OK, friend! Dove commercials and Pinterest boards let us know we are fine just the way we are, and there’s no need to change a thing. Eat what you want, do what you want, as long as you love yourself that’s all that matters, right?
Well, best friends, I’m here to lay it out for you straight… it’s not OK.
You see, the problem is we’ve forgotten what true love actually means. We love ourselves in the shallow way that happens when you’ve only been dating someone a short time. The type of love where you are willing to overlook the bad, the red flags, and see only rainbows and sunshine. We have a really hard time loving ourselves in a deep committed relationship sort of way that forces us to confront our flaws and change for the better. We are encouraging our own bad behavior as we continue to make poor food and lifestyle choices which manifest not only in our bodies but the world around us.
These selfies we take, showing off ourselves, proclaiming our love for ourselves just as we are, and this culture of bogus self-acceptance doesn’t allow us to talk about changing our bodies without prosecuting them: “I love myself just as I am. And, if I love my body, why would I change it?” or “If you try and change your body you clearly don’t love and accept yourself.”
Obesity rates have soared from 13% to 34% in the past 50 years. Annual estimated health care costs of obesity-related illness are $190.2 billion or nearly 21% of annual medical spending in the US. That’s taxpayer dollars coming out of your pocket! What’s even worse is childhood obesity alone is responsible for $14 billion in direct medical costs. Did you know that $5 billion is spent annually for additional jet fuel needed to fly heavier Americans, compared to fuel needed at 1960 weights? As a flight attendant, I can tell you every person on every flight has an assigned weight. This assigned weight is an average of course but as we become more overweight this average goes up. The total number of passengers is multiplied by this weight and then added in is the weight of the cargo which helps the pilots determine how much fuel is needed for a given flight. So the heavier we become, the more fuel is needed which means the cost of plane tickets rise, not to mention the impact on the planet. You’ll notice the seatbelts have also become longer on most planes to account for our growing waistlines. I guess the airlines were tired of handing out (and having people steal) the seat belt extensions so they just made them longer. The problem is we’re accommodating a real issue that needs to be fixed. An overweight population also has an environmental impact. In a study that was published in the International Journal of Epidemiology, they found that a fatter population needs 19% more food energy for its energy requirements. They factored in greater car use by the overweight because the heavier one becomes the harder it is to move thus creating a greater dependence on cars.
My daughter is one now and typically grabs for whatever food I am eating when she’s hungry. If I eat poorly she will as well, and the cycle continues. Since she can’t grocery shop for herself, I have to make healthy choices for her and myself and prepare meals that are both balanced and nutritious. Sure giving her crackers is easy and will fill her up, but why do I want to start her down the wrong path with food? I love her enough to make sure she gets the best. I have to do the same for myself. And, best friends I believe you should too.
If we have so much self-love then why are we so abusive to ourselves? Neglecting our diet, making excuses for why we can’t exercise and having the attitude of, “I like what I see so I don’t need to change” has taken us down the black hole we are in today. If you could take a selfie of the inside of your body and see how excess fat, cigarette smoking, alcohol, red meat, sugar, or other vices takes a toll on your heart, joints, and organs would you be proud? Would you post that photo to social media? Or would you make a change and commit to your health not only for you but for the environment, the planet and the future of your family?
I’ll be the first to admit I once was a skinny fat person. I joke I still have a fat kid on the inside waiting to be set free. I was never discouraged by what I saw in the mirror and never held accountable by anyone around me. When I would express the need or desire to workout people would tell me, “Oh you look great you don’t need to do that.” So I didn’t. I loved myself as is and that encouraged my own unhealthy habits. I will tell you the moment I started loving myself enough to take care of my health is the moment I fell into that until-death-do-us-part kind of love. My blood pressure went down, my mood elevated, my teeth and gums got healthier, and my immune system was stronger. Family and friends saw me taking charge of my health, and they began to take charge of their own. Now I can be proud of not only the outside, but what’s going on inside my body as well. I’m more conscious of what I put in my body, and yes, I’m not perfect and I love my cupcakes, but I balance that out with juicing or cycling. When friends or family say they feel like they should be working out or eating better I tell them, “YES, you should!” I no longer condone unhealthy lifestyles under the guise of phony self-acceptance.
It’s time to stop hiding behind the photos we post and the affirmations that we tell ourselves. It’s not about self-loathing, it’s about respecting yourself and your body and caring enough about the world and your impact on this world. I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s not just about you and what you do, what you eat… How you take care of yourself and what you let yourself become matter. It is predicted that the annual economic productivity cost (including absenteeism, healthcare, fuel, medicare, Medicaid, etc.) will reach $580 billion by 2030 unless the current situation changes.
Ask yourselves, can we afford to pay that bill? Or should we start making some changes around here? REAL self-love or self-loathing, you choose.
