Just Say YES!

Once upon a time, a long time ago, in a LALa land far, far away, I was presented with a ginormous TV show opportunity. I got the hard sell as to what big name was involved, and how I would benefit by being under this studio’s wing. It sounded exciting, yet I knew in my heart of hearts it would be disastrous. The person who came to me with this was someone who I instantly mistrusted, and truthfully, just someone I couldn’t stand (forgive me lawd, it’s true). The show idea was divisive, with no integrity whatsoever.  I just felt that the whole thing was steeped in darkness.  Intuitively, I knew this project would be a bust and would go NOwhere.  My whole body defensively  screamed, “Run Forrest run!!” 

 

And yet this little voice inside me said, “Say yes!”

Tony: “Say what now??”

Lil’ voice inside: “Yessss!”

Huh. 

 

So I decided to call my friend  Vanessa who is in the “Biz”.  V, who is just so innovative and brilliant.  She is a member of my family of choice.  She knows me and my issues. I just needed to ask her opinion. After listening to the offer and to my deep concerns, her wise counsel was: “Say yes”

Tony: “Say what now??”

V:  “You should always say Yes.”

Tony: “But I KNOW this isn’t going to happen. Why waste my time and get ‘gooed’ in the negativity?”

V:  “You never know, T.  Just say Yesss.

 

So despite my knowing, I said “Yes.” Lawyers were consulted, contracts signed, meetings made with the biggest of the big wigs. Lies were told. Got gooed. Everything fell apart. However, I left feeling happy and gifted in ways I could never imagine. Through this, even better opportunities came.  I also met amazing people who are still today the dearest of friends who have blessed my life in numerous ways. Vanessa was right: “Always say yes, you’ll never know where it will take you”.  If I said “No” I would have missed such incredible opportunities. Truthfully, the butterfly (beauty) of that one “yes” still benefits me today. 

 

My fear of failure, hurt,  loss, and possible blemishes to my “reputation” creates an instant “No” in me. I don’t say “no” though. I always take a breath and see what can come from any possibility. Yes, sometimes I’ve kissed some frogs. Yes, sometimes investments fell apart. Yeah, I can kick myself over some things. Yet, more often than not,  I am grateful for the inner knowing that there is magic juju power in the word “Yes”.  Overall I know things are better than if I stayed in the comfort zone of the realm of NO.  “YES” is definitely winning. 

 

Despite how logic dictates to us say “No“, the permission we grant ourselves is always a gift. We can be so invested in being right that we will not allow ourselves to imagine another outcome. Saying yes opens up a new realm of possibility. Yes creates new bandwidths, whereas “No” blocks the flow.  Yescreates potential.  No ends things full stop. 

 

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who has already decided not to even listen to you?  You can tell by their body language and their expression that no matter what you say or do, there is no way that they are going to hear you out. It is so frustrating talking to a wall. Sometimes with a little effort, we can put a chink in their armor. But at the end of it, that other person has lost a great opportunity to grow in experience from what you initially had to offer. 

 

We are conditioned to “No” out of habit.  Sometimes it’s good to do a self check, and see what you and your body language are saying to the world around you. Fear of change or moving out of the current comfort zone keeps us trapped in a realm of the familiar. I know for myself what is familiar is also within my control. The last time I checked, being “controlling” doesn’t usually work out the way we’d like. The best experiences tend to present themselves as happy accidents. 

 

The poison of negativity can  be pervasive. So potent in fact that it can have long lasting effects on one’s psyche. I can list some powerful Nos I’ve received in life and how I am still affected by them today. In contrast, living with a Yes stimulates and empowers a whole other experience. Yes fuels trust. Possibly, it creates a better outcome, which can have longer lasting effects. 

 

Resist challenging what good can come your way. Consider how you can change the outcome if you enter the room with a demeanor which is affirming and receptive. 

 

Where in your life can you say Yes more often? 

 

Remember, starting with yes doesn’t necessarily mean ending with yes. Even when you know with all your heart it will be a no. Learn to listen with a yes. It’s a gift to ourselves and others to embrace the road of potential creative opportunity.   

 

Let go of the need to be right all the time. In most of our relationships, we feel the need to be seen in control or we need to defend a belief system. We don’t see how in the long run  it keeps  us from finding a mutual place of growth and understanding. 

 

Change your natural default setting to yes. As human beings it’s in our nature to be overly cautious. We carry in our DNA the instinct to protect ourselves from an unknown evil. It’s time to reconsider whether this is working.  Let’s realize that we have evolved.  Know that you are safe. 

 

Practice makes better. Like most things in our lives, repetition helps us to improve. Create a practice of recognizing the when to say YES. Say yes every day. What does your body do when you say yes?  Allow affirmation to shine  in your eyes, stimulate your mind, body and spirit.

 

and will…

 

Create a beautiful day.