How To Meet Men Anywhere: Confidence…And A Few Pheromones
I felt a bit like Alice in Wonderland yesterday when I opened my mailbox to find a package — no name, no note — including a little black bottle with pretty red writing reading “Erox.” Was I receiving hate mail? Would I grow even smaller than my already diminutive 5’1 height? Was someone trying to get me high? Who knew? So I did what any irresponsible, curious 30-something woman would do: I Googled. And then, I sprayed.
Chill out, I’m not that much of an idiot that I wouldn’t do some research on the stuff first. I found a press release online informing me that Erox is a “unisex fragrance, which has been proven to increase feelings of arousal, excitement, social warmth and friendliness in both female and male users. Erox® will be the first commercial product to contain Human Pheromone Sciences’ patent pending ER303 compound which has been shown to increase feelings of attraction and flirtiness in both males and females during a double blind placebo controlled study.’
In case you’re wondering, ER 303 is described as a compound that has been shown in physiological and psychological studies at a major university to significantly increase emotional and mood-enhancing feelings in both men and women volunteers.
So, you can see why I sprayed. And, why, in the name of research, I decided to test the hypothesized power of the pheromones out in public.
I swear to you, something came over me as soon as I put that stuff on. I was a woman transformed. Though I was in yoga pants and a tank top, but I suddenly felt like a vixen. I was smoldering at everyone I came across…even inanimate objects, like trees and fire hydrants.
And yes, I may have gotten hit on a few times (like, six times in 45 minutes…for real) despite my icky ensemble, but I’m not sure if that occurrence was because of the pheromones or the fact that I was a) smiling and b) completely and utterly confident because of a pheromone-induced placebo effect.
Regardless, that stuff is like magic in a bottle, even if it doesn’t work exactly as it’s supposed to (and I’m not saying it doesn’t…yet. I need to give it a few more trial runs before I come to any conclusions).
I felt like I could conquer the world. I felt bold, brazen and beautiful. And regardless of who you are and where you happen to be located, that feeling is worth any price.
For those who have “lost their muchiness” or “used to be much muchier” (another Wonderland reference, FYI), I hope you find a little white note that reads: “Spray me.” After all, confidence in a bottle is a wonderful thing.
You can thank me and my current level of muchiness for your soon-to-be level of happiness later.
