People often ask me: What is the biggest transformation you have experienced as a Life Coach?
I believe it is becoming an Observer versus a Reactor of my life. Can I tell you that I’ve mastered this? Well, that would have to be a “no,” but I own it more and more.
Life happens every day.
There are twists and turns we never expected. Instead of thinking that life happens to us, we need to believe that life happens for us. It is also crucial to believe that the Universe has our back and that we are supported.
When a situation happens and we go into our default reaction mode, we not only have what happened to us but we create a second layer of emotion that affects us. We have added a layer to this state of affairs, and it is this new layer that holds all the pain and emotion.
Our interpretation of the experience is just that…an interpretation.
It creates our reality by what we make it mean, and it is ours to change. The charge, the pain, and the emotions all lie within our interpretation. Modify that and you change everything.
It isn’t what we go through that defines us; it is what we make of it that defines us. How we act, what we think, and how we recover are what define us.
With this in mind, the observer looks at every bump, twist, and turn as an opportunity for growth.
What is the lesson here? What is the gift? How can I grow from this experience? Why is this person or situation in my life? What am I not seeing? What am I ignoring? What do I need to do differently so I don’t find myself here again? How am I going to handle this so it is different from last time? What am I avoiding or missing? Am I hiding from something? Can I ask: Ok, Universe, you’ve lead me here, now what am I supposed to be learning?
If I am afraid what does my fear want me to know? Have I triggered a quality that I don’t want to own? I need to own that quality.
Can I use this as an opportunity to uncover a quality that I need to uncover?
We all get rocked by life at times. But within our power are these things: how long we stay down, how big the effect is, and how long it takes us to recover. Being the Observer instead of the Reactor is the key. The key is that life happens for us and not for us!
Can you just be in the “allowing?” Instead of reacting, can you just “allow” it to be?
Let the feelings and the questions come up? Have compassion for what comes up but not react? These are the goals.
I not only get to ask these questions, but it’s with each new bump or drama I realize will make me a better coach. As I add experiences that I need to work through I not only grow but I am in a better position to help others who are going through a similar situation. This brings me an added incentive to step out of the drama, and be the Observer as quickly as possible.
I am a work in progress, and I always will be. I am on this earth to continue to grow and learn and extend my reach. Every day is a learning experience. Just keep your eyes wide open.
A really powerful read on this concept of the Observer is The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer. I highly recommend it to everyone. I think it is a game-changer.
